The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
