i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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