R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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