I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
