Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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