OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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