Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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