i think my tv is drunk
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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