exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
