I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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