next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
