I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
