Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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