The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
