i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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