I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
