So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
