Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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