Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
