I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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