I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
