you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
