lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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