there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
