taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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