My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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