so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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