It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
