What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
