if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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