i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
being pregnant is like rehab
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
