I am puke
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
