You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
