playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
