I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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