ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
