he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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