Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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