Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
