i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
