He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
