You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
