"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
