i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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