yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
