hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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