dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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