Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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