I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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