at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
