Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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